my life: a comedy of errors
Jun. 7th, 2022 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chase_acow
I am the sorest girl is sore town. But this story starts one week ago.
Some of y'all might remember a post a couple of months ago where I just needed to vent about an absent mom and heavily unequal effort in our relationship. She did finally text back, and without really opening up about her thoughts and her life, apologized and did actually invite me over at a specific time with a specific activity planned. And she did try a little harder to text and call back and forth in the meantime.
On Tuesday, I loaded up the dogs and off we went. We got idk, 9.5/10th of the way there before the car started clicking and decided it was done. Very busy highway and I am suddenly doing 30 mph - I'm imagining I got flipped off quite a bit. But there was a nice little rest pull out, and I waited for Mom and Carl to come out and drive the rest of the way with me just in case.
Long story, still kind of long - I have to replace the engine. WHY ARE ENGINES SO EXPENSIVE?!?
I still actually had a very good visit. And she tried really hard to be present and do things.
Rented a car to get back home for work because they don't expect my car to be done before Friday, and Enterprise gives me a brand new Camry with a thousand miles on it. I looked at it and immediately suspected a trap. I finally figured out the A/C, then I finally figured out the bluetooth, eventually I figure out the cruise control. This car is so much smarter than I am. It was fun to drive, but also, little terrified of messing it up.
On Sunday, I grab the car keys to go to work, and it isn't until I pull back up the driveway that I realized I forgot to grab my house keys which I had not added to the GIANT car fob.
Alas.
So I gotta break into my own house. Okay. How hard can it be? I don't lock any of the windows, and I have some tools and a ladder. I go around the backyard, because I don't really want this to be a neighborhood slapstick show, and pick the window for the utility room because there's less stuff to break in there. I pop the screen and the poorly fitting glass out, wedge my little spade under the window and leverage it up several inches. This house has a crawl space, so it's up. I say this because it's also a very old wooden window I haven't tried to open in the last three years.
I heaved. I struggled. I worked one side, and then the other. I bent at the knees, straightened my arms out and used all my strength . . .
and I still didn't have achase_acow sized opening. But I could see the cats* sitting in the doorway watching my increasingly pathetic attempts. They do not seem to care.
Both my guy-friend dispatchers are on nightshift, so I wasn't going to bother them in the middle of the afternoon. My other dude coworker is currently on duty in his black pajamas, so he's a last resort. But I do have neighbors with teenagers. I usually try not to bother them because except for their dogs during the day, and when the 23 year old makes the 13 year old cry, they keep to themselves and mow their yard. Unfortunately, mama redneck (affectionately) rouses the 23 year old and sends him over, beggars can't be choosers, and he does manage to wedge the window up another four inches before he declares that's it and heads back to his nap.
All right, it's now or never.
I first try head first. There's an end table under the window to help stabilize my weight while I wiggle in. I get to my waist, realize how much it'll hurt and how impossible it will be to change my mind once I commit. I back out and study the situation again. I grab a smaller wooden ladder, get up on the top rung and swing one leg through while balancing on the other leg and . . . I don't know how to keep going. But all my weight is on one leg which is quickly letting me know that it's struggling.
Oh no. I'm too high to duck my head and upper body through the window. I have probably less than a minute before my other leg gives out. I am now regretting every single decision the universe has ever made that has led to my birth which has led to this day.
Luckily, lightbulb comes on. I step down one rung while clinging to the window so I don't overbalance, this gives me room to duck through and I am now standing inside my house! \0/
I immediately went to attach my house key to the car fob. And two days later I am still so sore in such weird places!
I took the neighbors chocolate chip cookies to thank them, and so they'll help me the next time too.
*more about the cat status later!
Some of y'all might remember a post a couple of months ago where I just needed to vent about an absent mom and heavily unequal effort in our relationship. She did finally text back, and without really opening up about her thoughts and her life, apologized and did actually invite me over at a specific time with a specific activity planned. And she did try a little harder to text and call back and forth in the meantime.
On Tuesday, I loaded up the dogs and off we went. We got idk, 9.5/10th of the way there before the car started clicking and decided it was done. Very busy highway and I am suddenly doing 30 mph - I'm imagining I got flipped off quite a bit. But there was a nice little rest pull out, and I waited for Mom and Carl to come out and drive the rest of the way with me just in case.
Long story, still kind of long - I have to replace the engine. WHY ARE ENGINES SO EXPENSIVE?!?
I still actually had a very good visit. And she tried really hard to be present and do things.
Rented a car to get back home for work because they don't expect my car to be done before Friday, and Enterprise gives me a brand new Camry with a thousand miles on it. I looked at it and immediately suspected a trap. I finally figured out the A/C, then I finally figured out the bluetooth, eventually I figure out the cruise control. This car is so much smarter than I am. It was fun to drive, but also, little terrified of messing it up.
On Sunday, I grab the car keys to go to work, and it isn't until I pull back up the driveway that I realized I forgot to grab my house keys which I had not added to the GIANT car fob.
Alas.
So I gotta break into my own house. Okay. How hard can it be? I don't lock any of the windows, and I have some tools and a ladder. I go around the backyard, because I don't really want this to be a neighborhood slapstick show, and pick the window for the utility room because there's less stuff to break in there. I pop the screen and the poorly fitting glass out, wedge my little spade under the window and leverage it up several inches. This house has a crawl space, so it's up. I say this because it's also a very old wooden window I haven't tried to open in the last three years.
I heaved. I struggled. I worked one side, and then the other. I bent at the knees, straightened my arms out and used all my strength . . .
and I still didn't have a
chase_acow sized opening. But I could see the cats* sitting in the doorway watching my increasingly pathetic attempts. They do not seem to care.Both my guy-friend dispatchers are on nightshift, so I wasn't going to bother them in the middle of the afternoon. My other dude coworker is currently on duty in his black pajamas, so he's a last resort. But I do have neighbors with teenagers. I usually try not to bother them because except for their dogs during the day, and when the 23 year old makes the 13 year old cry, they keep to themselves and mow their yard. Unfortunately, mama redneck (affectionately) rouses the 23 year old and sends him over, beggars can't be choosers, and he does manage to wedge the window up another four inches before he declares that's it and heads back to his nap.
All right, it's now or never.
I first try head first. There's an end table under the window to help stabilize my weight while I wiggle in. I get to my waist, realize how much it'll hurt and how impossible it will be to change my mind once I commit. I back out and study the situation again. I grab a smaller wooden ladder, get up on the top rung and swing one leg through while balancing on the other leg and . . . I don't know how to keep going. But all my weight is on one leg which is quickly letting me know that it's struggling.
Oh no. I'm too high to duck my head and upper body through the window. I have probably less than a minute before my other leg gives out. I am now regretting every single decision the universe has ever made that has led to my birth which has led to this day.
Luckily, lightbulb comes on. I step down one rung while clinging to the window so I don't overbalance, this gives me room to duck through and I am now standing inside my house! \0/
I immediately went to attach my house key to the car fob. And two days later I am still so sore in such weird places!
I took the neighbors chocolate chip cookies to thank them, and so they'll help me the next time too.
*more about the cat status later!
no subject
Date: 2022-06-07 04:42 pm (UTC)Also, nice pics!
no subject
Date: 2022-06-08 02:35 pm (UTC)That spring park was so pretty, they've maintained it so well. It was a really nice day too, cool all morning and not too hot into the afternoon. Eureka Springs was actually her backup plan, and I wasn't sad it came to that.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-07 07:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-08 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-07 09:40 pm (UTC)Less great about the car breaking down and getting locked out of your house. Seems as if you had quite an adventure too. Poor you! Now you definitely have a story to tell for the future and I hope the soreness goes away soon.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-08 03:25 pm (UTC)I'm glad to spend a little more time with mom and Carl. It really kind of hit me this time that they're getting older and walking around outings aren't going to last forever.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-08 01:48 am (UTC)I'm glad you and your mom had a nice visit, and that she's trying a little harder to connect, that's great.
HOLY FUCK NEW ENGINE, jayzus. That sucks!
And if I locked myself out of my house, I'd be toast, because while the windows are low enough to bail out of if there's a fire, they are *much* too high for me to get into without a ladder, which I only have stepladder that lives inside. So.
But I have a spare key on the porch, so as a rule, I'm safe.
Rental car sounds fun but yes, scary.
Hot bath with Epsom salts for you!
no subject
Date: 2022-06-08 03:47 pm (UTC)My mom . . . I saw a post on tumblr talking about how people who refuse to define their boundaries cause a lot of stress and anxiety to others because they're not sure about overstepping or getting too close and that's exactly a bunch of my issues with my mom. She's so passive and unopinionated, I'm paranoid that everything I do is wrong but she will never tell me and her general disinterest in everything is the only clue I get. But, she definitely tried, even if she did make me choose too many of the eating decisions.
I am so sad about digging back down in the money pit! But at least I can't specifically blame myself for anything, it just happened.
I will definitely be hiding a key somewhere. I'm not doing that again!
no subject
Date: 2022-06-08 12:37 pm (UTC)But ouch having to break into your own house in such a way.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-08 03:50 pm (UTC)