three bad movies
Jul. 13th, 2021 11:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chase_acow
Listen, I've never said Anthony Mackie chooses great projects . . .
Synchronic starts off with him and his buddy as the most incompetent paramedics I've ever seen on tv, and I don't think they're supposed to be. It's just like zero budget and zero research on basic first responder or police policies/sop. Like I don't think they've ever even watched another ambulance show before. Ug, it actually has a 64 on metacritic. I will never understand. The movie get's interesting when he starts using his whiteboard and the scientific method to figure out what this designer drug wrecking havoc actually is and does. But too little to late? I will not dignify that ending with more than this sentence. WTF, man?
Woman in the Window, he's barely in. At first he's the voice talking to his separated wife as she watches the neighborhood and doesn't deal with her drinking or depression. I love his voice. I would buy all the audiobooks. Then there's a flashback and there he is, but it doesn't last long. Then the movie breaks down from a tense (ish?) psychological drama to the weirdest shit they could throw at their storyboards and I'm not sure if they used what stuck or what slopped off on the ground. No thank you.
I also watched Black Widow last night because enough people said good things about Florence Pugh as Yelena Belova and let me tell you SHE IS AMAZING! I'm looking forward to her next appearances in the MCU+ shows.
Listen, I'm not great at not clicking on reviews clearly labeled as negative of things I love, so I don't expect you'll scroll by either (and if you do, kudos to your willpower!). Here's my bias: I dislike Scarlett Johansson a lot. I got shallow reasons, I think she's a bad actress, and I'm not that impressed with her personally based on things she's said and done. I hate her. I wanted to hate the movie, and I found it pretty easy to hate it.
This might be some of the best hair choices made.
The movie was way too long, and so many of the scenes are transitional so there's no sense really establishing place anywhere. The family themes didn't work for me at all, and I think a lot of that was the lack of any through story lines for Natasha through any of the IM, CA, or group movies. I've hated the storyline with her and Bruce, the relationship build with her and Steve in CA:WS might have been better except that most everything I saw was Scarlett Johansson's inability to modulate her voice or do anything but be smug and bored. (I will never be over that goddamn bikini line either. Fuck you whoever did that.)
Plus, three years for kids that age wouldn't have affected them so much. There's no family in that. All that angst and the performative family dinner just made me roll my eyes. There's no way Yelena would remember from being that young and all the trauma that came after. The ages and years just don't add up to me. I wish they might have stayed closer to the comics. I mean, it's an open secret the Widows were dosed with super soldier serum, right? Maybe not as much but otherwise there's no way they could take the damage or do the things they do. I'd rather let them be older, put the Red Guardian back in the 80s where he belonged and not try to shoehorn things into the MCU continuity.
Are they really trying to tell me that in the years after Budapest, Natasha wouldn't have tried to check in on Yelena and notice the Red Room was still running? Is she a badass, competent spy or not?
The threads connecting her to the aftermath of Civil War don't work for me either. She constantly plays both sides. That's her schtick, but now you expect me to believe she went up against Steve and Clint for Tony and/or lawful good, and Tony still didn't know the slightest thing about her? (Did she have a family? - just ug). So then she blows off everyone, and runs off on her own afterward. Sure.
David Harbor was having a great time. Hate the character, please stay away from future projects.
Rachel Weisz is still gorgeous and amazing, and she picks some the strangest things to work on, but okay.
Neither of the antagonists made me care at all. The pheromone thing was creepy and the nose nerve thing sounded stupid and made up.
O-T Fagbenle as Mason was pointless? So she paid a morally gray procurement agent a bunch of money to get her what she needs, treats him like an annoyance, and then we're supposed to believe they're good friends? Just because? No.
Yelena was the godsend of this movie. That vest - so many pockets. She's in turn adorable and badass, but again the ages and timing felt off. Some of it felt like she was a teenager, quipping, making some poor choices (that helicopter scene) and being sulky or funny/morbid about things, but based on the timeline she's almost 30 and apparently none of the red in her ledger bothers her. Like I said, I'm looking forward to seeing her smash Jeremy Renner's face wide open.
Synchronic starts off with him and his buddy as the most incompetent paramedics I've ever seen on tv, and I don't think they're supposed to be. It's just like zero budget and zero research on basic first responder or police policies/sop. Like I don't think they've ever even watched another ambulance show before. Ug, it actually has a 64 on metacritic. I will never understand. The movie get's interesting when he starts using his whiteboard and the scientific method to figure out what this designer drug wrecking havoc actually is and does. But too little to late? I will not dignify that ending with more than this sentence. WTF, man?
Woman in the Window, he's barely in. At first he's the voice talking to his separated wife as she watches the neighborhood and doesn't deal with her drinking or depression. I love his voice. I would buy all the audiobooks. Then there's a flashback and there he is, but it doesn't last long. Then the movie breaks down from a tense (ish?) psychological drama to the weirdest shit they could throw at their storyboards and I'm not sure if they used what stuck or what slopped off on the ground. No thank you.
I also watched Black Widow last night because enough people said good things about Florence Pugh as Yelena Belova and let me tell you SHE IS AMAZING! I'm looking forward to her next appearances in the MCU+ shows.
Listen, I'm not great at not clicking on reviews clearly labeled as negative of things I love, so I don't expect you'll scroll by either (and if you do, kudos to your willpower!). Here's my bias: I dislike Scarlett Johansson a lot. I got shallow reasons, I think she's a bad actress, and I'm not that impressed with her personally based on things she's said and done. I hate her. I wanted to hate the movie, and I found it pretty easy to hate it.
This might be some of the best hair choices made.
The movie was way too long, and so many of the scenes are transitional so there's no sense really establishing place anywhere. The family themes didn't work for me at all, and I think a lot of that was the lack of any through story lines for Natasha through any of the IM, CA, or group movies. I've hated the storyline with her and Bruce, the relationship build with her and Steve in CA:WS might have been better except that most everything I saw was Scarlett Johansson's inability to modulate her voice or do anything but be smug and bored. (I will never be over that goddamn bikini line either. Fuck you whoever did that.)
Plus, three years for kids that age wouldn't have affected them so much. There's no family in that. All that angst and the performative family dinner just made me roll my eyes. There's no way Yelena would remember from being that young and all the trauma that came after. The ages and years just don't add up to me. I wish they might have stayed closer to the comics. I mean, it's an open secret the Widows were dosed with super soldier serum, right? Maybe not as much but otherwise there's no way they could take the damage or do the things they do. I'd rather let them be older, put the Red Guardian back in the 80s where he belonged and not try to shoehorn things into the MCU continuity.
Are they really trying to tell me that in the years after Budapest, Natasha wouldn't have tried to check in on Yelena and notice the Red Room was still running? Is she a badass, competent spy or not?
The threads connecting her to the aftermath of Civil War don't work for me either. She constantly plays both sides. That's her schtick, but now you expect me to believe she went up against Steve and Clint for Tony and/or lawful good, and Tony still didn't know the slightest thing about her? (Did she have a family? - just ug). So then she blows off everyone, and runs off on her own afterward. Sure.
David Harbor was having a great time. Hate the character, please stay away from future projects.
Rachel Weisz is still gorgeous and amazing, and she picks some the strangest things to work on, but okay.
Neither of the antagonists made me care at all. The pheromone thing was creepy and the nose nerve thing sounded stupid and made up.
O-T Fagbenle as Mason was pointless? So she paid a morally gray procurement agent a bunch of money to get her what she needs, treats him like an annoyance, and then we're supposed to believe they're good friends? Just because? No.
Yelena was the godsend of this movie. That vest - so many pockets. She's in turn adorable and badass, but again the ages and timing felt off. Some of it felt like she was a teenager, quipping, making some poor choices (that helicopter scene) and being sulky or funny/morbid about things, but based on the timeline she's almost 30 and apparently none of the red in her ledger bothers her. Like I said, I'm looking forward to seeing her smash Jeremy Renner's face wide open.
