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chase_acow
Title: Surrender To It
Author: Renae![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chase_acow
Fandom-Pairing: SPN RPS - Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG
Word count: ~ 3,500
Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction about an alternate universe that sadly (or not) does not exist. Characters do not belong to me, do not reflect this reality, and no offense is meant.
Summary: Jensen is a bedmate turned mechanic asked to share his room with his replacement in Sam's bed. Jared's kinda shy, but he knows what he wants.
A/N: I know what you’re thinking. Harem fic with no sex? Just give me a chance, yeah?
Samantha Ferris liked her men young and muscled. Jensen had known that ever since she picked him up at the graduation market when he was eighteen. He knew it, but it didn’t stop him from being a little disappointed when his instructions for the day told him to head down to the garage to get his duty sheet until otherwise instructed. A little more notice would have been nice, maybe even something more personal than a note from the houseman tacked to his door. He’d been the oldest bedmate in her personal harem for several years, and he really should have seen it coming.
At least she’d kept her promise to find him a place on her estate rather than sending him out to the recycling market. It wasn’t unheard of, but men who ended up there seldom found a trade up from their previous circumstances. He knew for a fact that he wouldn’t have found anything better. Maybe a lady would want him as a teacher for a younger relative, but Jensen didn’t have much patience for teenagers. He wouldn’t last and then there’d be no choice for him after that but common labor.
He’d always been incredibly grateful that Sam liked being the only hen in a yard full of cock. Jensen only answered to Sam and his direct supervisors, not the strident demands of girls more likely to pinch than stroke or scratch than pet.
Every once in awhile Jensen liked it rough, but he never liked to bleed.
In the garage, the foreman Jeff Morgan sent him over to do some routine upkeep on the row of classic cars. Sam might like her men young, but she didn’t like to be driven in anything made after ‘75. She kept a couple of newer cars just in case she needed to make an impression, but the majority of the space was given over to Mustangs, GTOs, Camaros, and Firebirds. Jensen had learned everything he knew about cars from his dad, and when he hadn’t been busy up at the house, Jeff had shown him the ropes of Sam’s garage.
He lost himself in the repetitive motions of checking gauges and seals, topping off oil and windshield wiper fluid. He’d known that he’d have to find a niche for himself, and he was just glad that Sam didn’t like trading through to many men at a time. She could have found an already trained mechanic, but she was willing to wait and let him get the swing of it first. He was grateful, because at least the work was enjoyable. Lunch whizzed by, a picnic brought down from the kitchen, and before he knew it, it was time to go back up to the house and wash up for dinner.
Smears of grease managed to climb halfway up his forearms so he had to take extra care working his way through the house. It would be worth a beating from the houseman if he ruined the upholstery or paint job. Sam wasn’t as cruel as some of the other women he’d heard horror stories about, but she ruled her household with absolute authority. She did give some of the best rewards though, Jensen remembered, and a hot lick of desire curled down through his belly.
Jensen pushed open the door to his room with the cleanest part of the back of his hand and headed straight to the attached bathroom. He pulled his dirty shirt over his head and tossed it in the basket inside his closet, grimacing slightly over the sweat and grime that had built up. Actually, he was pretty satisfied with a full day of work.
“Um, hi.”
Jensen jerked to the side, and turned with his hands raised in automatic fists. There was always a certain amount of jockeying and infighting for position inside the male portion of the house, but as a favored bedmate, Jensen hadn’t really had to deal with any of that for years. It figured that his first day shunted to the work corps someone would already try to start something.
“Whoa, hey, I didn’t mean to startle you,” the other man held up his hands and took a step back. He was taller than Jensen and broader across the shoulders with heavily defined muscles. His hair was long and curled over his forehead and ears giving him a boyish look.
He was gorgeous. Jensen hated him immediately.
“What are you doing in here?” Jensen demanded, glaring around as he noticed another dresser had been added to the room, along with extra toiletries in the bathroom. His heart sank as he figured out what was going on before the other man even opened his mouth.
“I just got here this afternoon. The houseman showed me up,” he said, ducking his head and gesturing around the room. He looked uncomfortable, and Jensen had to wonder where he’d come from. He was too old for a graduation fair and Jensen couldn’t imagine why anyone would let him go to recycling. He hadn’t even known that Sam had been out shopping. “He said I’d share this room unless Ms. Ferris said otherwise.”
Jensen sighed, it had been nice having his own room; he was one of the only men to have that perk. He knew that a mechanic didn’t deserve the same rewards as a bedmate, but it would have been nice not to have to completely change his lifestyle all in one day. Again, it would have been nice to have some kind of warning.
“Whatever,” Jensen turned back to the bathroom and stripped out of his jeans. At least he wasn’t being kicked out yet, even if it was probably just a matter of time before he found himself living with the other working men over in the backhouse. There, they stacked as many as they could in bunks and shared dormitory style bathrooms. Privacy was at a minimum and he never had really been a people person. It wouldn’t be fun, but he knew it could be worse.
He finished his shower quickly, dinner was always promptly at six thirty, and he didn’t want to get stuck down at the end of the table next to Chad and Mike. Working down in the garage all day had given him an appetite that he hadn’t really managed when all he did was lounge around the house and work out at odd intervals. He pulled on a pair of his loose house pants and walked back out to his bedroom.
The other guy jumped up off the bed quickly and tried to smooth down his already smooth shirt. “I’m Jared,” he said, holding out his hand.
“Jensen,” he replied, but ignored Jared’s hand in favor of grabbing v-neck t-shirt to pull over his head. The last thing he wanted to do was get all buddy-buddy with his replacement in Sam’s bed. They might be stuck together, but he didn’t have to like it. “Come on.”
He led the way through the hallways, using the back stairs and avoiding places where the house servants would be working again after their earlier dinner. As a bedmate, Jared could take dinner whenever he wanted, but as a worker, Jensen could only get fed during this time slot. He was very aware of just how close Jared was shadowing him. It made him anxious, and he was grateful when they made it to the kitchen and dinning room.
There were two long tables, and he immediately went to the one closest to the big sliding glass doors and took his normal seat next to Jeff. He tried not to sigh when Jared slid into the chair next to him.
“So, you’re getting your hands dirty now, huh?”
“Shut your mouth, Mike, unless you’re done eating and then feel free to let the rest of us eat in peace. Everybody works for their keep around here, and don’t you forget it,” Jeff growled, rolling his eyes and passing the bread basket down to Jensen. He was in charge of work that went on outside the house, and just as fair but no-nonsense as Sam. “Jensen, I see you’ve made a new friend. Care to introduce us?”
Jensen paused in his task of filling up his plate and tried not to scowl. “This is Jared,” he said waving his hand over his shoulder back to where Jared was sitting also piling food from the table up on his plate. “Jared this is the groundsman Jeff, and everybody else.”
“Hi, how’s it going?” Jared said quietly, glancing around the table before he dropped his eyes back down to his own place.
Jeff and Jensen exchanged a glance, and Jensen shrugged, cutting his eyes toward Jared and raising his eyebrows trying to display that he didn’t really know if Jared was stuck up or just incredibly shy. He reached out to draw the bowl of chicken closer and tried not to drool over the smell. Jensen had been to enough entertainments handing on Sam’s arm to know that they had one of the best kitchen staff in the area.
“So where’d you come from, Jared?” Jeff asked through a mouthful of his own dinner. “Most of us work outside, so we don’t hear the gossip until dinner time.”
“Oh, ah, Alona sent me over as a gift, she didn’t really tell me much other than that I was Ms. Ferris’ type,” Jared answered, relaxing a little and letting his thighs fall open to brush against Jensen’s. “It seems like a nice place though, I think I’m very lucky.”
Down the table Mike and Chad put their heads together, talking quietly until Chad snorted loudly. “‘Gift’,” he said, smirking and gestured at Jared, “yeah right. She probably just couldn’t afford to feed your three stomachs!”
Jared froze in mid reach for the salad tongs and blushed furiously, dropping his hands in his lap.
“Just ignore them,” Jensen said softly, elbowing Jared in the ribs and startling the other man. He never could stand Chad or Mike, and he knew it was hard enough trying to fit into a new place without the resident jackasses trying to make things more difficult. “Sam never stints us. Eat as much as you want now, and if you want a snack later the cook will show you what’s yours to take.”
“Thanks,” Jared said startled, and still hesitant as he reached up to finger his silverware. He kept his head down, but dinner went smoothly after that as Jeff kept the conversation to mundane gossip.
That night, together under the covers, Jared tentatively touched Jensen’s shoulder and asked, “What’s Sam like?”
Jensen sighed and shoved his arm underneath his pillow and rolling his head so he could look out the small window. Clouds covered the moon, but enough light fell through the window to let him see Jared’s face when he turned back the other way. “First off, don’t call her Sam until she tells you to,” he said, and rolled his shoulder a little into Jared’s hand. “She likes flattery, but not the obvious kind. She doesn’t like pain; she won’t hurt you.”
“Good,” Jared relaxed further into the silk sheets and stretched. He yawned and turned away from Jensen so the bow of his back brushed from Jensen’s wrist to shoulder. He mumbled tiredly, “I was worried.”
So much for keeping his distance, Jensen thought as Jared’s cold feet made themselves at home alongside his calf. “You’ll be fine,” he said, words swallowed up by the night, and even he wasn’t sure if he was talking to Jared or himself.
“Hey, Jensen!”
Jensen jerked, and ended up banging his head up against the hood of the car he was working on. Pain spiked down and he reached up to rub the bump blossoming underneath his hair. “Goddamn it,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut and concentrating on breathing in and out.
“Oh, man, I’m sorry,” Jared said, getting closer and stroking his own hand up Jensen’s shoulder and squeezing. He was close enough that Jensen could smell the soft scent of mint on his breath. “Are you okay?”
Scowling, Jensen jerked away and reached for a rag to clean the grease off his hands. “What the hell are you doing down here?” he asked, blinking hard up at Jared. It had been three weeks since he’d gained his roommate, and the other man hadn’t been to the garage in all that time.
Jared withdrew into himself, hunching his shoulders and shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his oversized jeans. He dipped his head and his bangs fell over his eyes as he stepped away. “Am I not allowed down here?” he asked.
“You’re allowed wherever you want to go,” Jensen reminded him, trying not to be too annoyed. It had been nice being able to wander the grounds without a care in the world when he was in Jared’s place. It wasn’t like he never got a break now, but he still missed the freedom. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone down here today.”
“I could leave, if you’d rather be alone,” Jared offered, leaning slightly back the way he’d come from. He hesitated, and Jensen could tell he was dying for Jensen to tell him to stay, but that he was willing to go.
They’d come to a pretty easy truce, Jensen would have had to be as big an asshole as Chad or Mike to not get along with Jared. Actually, Jared went out of his way to be pleasant to both of those two bastards anyway. Jensen thought it was pretty abnormal, but Jared kept it up until Jensen had to concede that it wasn’t a front. The guy was just fucking nice, and quality that was sorely lacking from most bedmates.
Jensen squinted over at the clock on the wall and saw that it was close enough to quitting time for him to close up his corner of the shop. “Naw, it’s okay,” he said, and tried not to smile at the way Jared completely lit up at his words. “Help me clean this up, and we can go find someplace to be.”
The clean up went by quick with Jared helping him, and they slipped out of the garage before Jeff could offer to walk back up to the house with them. Jensen grabbed Jared’s wrist and pulled him behind the building, taking off on a path that meandered through a thick stand of trees. It had been his favorite place to go when he needed to get away from the press of bodies and the obnoxious twittering of the other bedmates. All they every talked about was the size of their dicks and how many times they could make Sam come in a night.
After a ten minute hike there was nothing to see or hear that would remind them of the life they left behind them. As far as they or anyone else knew, they were free to do or be whatever they wanted. Jensen watched as Jared looked around the small grotto with wide eyes. There was still some late blooming wild flowers poking through the long stemmed grass. Jensen walked to the middle and sank down to his knees, before he rolled over and laid down on his back so he could watch the clouds drift across the bright blue sky.
“This is awesome, Jen,” Jared said, and fell down beside him across the soft ground. He wiggled around until Jensen found himself with his head cushioned on Jared’s shoulder and noticed that their breathing had synchronized. “Thanks for bringing me out here. It was getting to be a bit much with nothing to do. With Alona, I at least had the dogs to spend time with.”
“Mention it to Sam next time you see her,” Jensen suggested, trying to ignore Jared’s musky scent. “Maybe she’ll get you a puppy or something. She likes doing those kind of small things if you make it worth her while.”
Jared shifted again, clearly working his way up to saying something. Jensen held his tongue and waited, knowing that if he rushed him, Jared would get embarrassed and stutter over his words. Underneath his cheek, Jared’s skin was warm; Jensen had to concentrate not to instinctively turn into Jared’s bulk. He had to watch himself closer than ever before, the game he’d played for over ten years suddenly had new rules.
“It’d be nice to have something to take care of again,” Jared said softly and squeezed his arm around Jensen’s shoulder. “You know, my dad told me that I’d get used to it eventually, but I don’t think I ever will.”
“Get used to what?” Jensen asked and decided to hell with it and turned to lay his hand on Jared’s ribcage. He could feel Jared breathing, the rise and fall of his solid chest
“Having sex without love,” Jared answered simply, his belly dipping under Jensen’s hand. “I mean, Sam’s really nice, and I think I make her happy while we’re in bed, but when she looks at me, I can tell that I’m nothing special.”
Jensen sucked in a breath at Jared’s admission. He’d known from when he was young and any woman who saw him paused to compliment his lips or eyelashes that he’d end up as someone’s bedmate. At the time he’d been glad, his older brother had gone straight to the labor market and he’d wanted no part of that backbreaking work. Sam was the only woman who had ever touched him, and he knew that there was affection between them, but he’d never hoped for love.
Love only happened in the movies, not in the real world and not for people like him and Jared.
“You’d better watch out Jared,” Jensen cautioned, reluctantly sliding away and pushing himself up to his feet. “Keep thinking like that and you’ll end up hurt, or worse, traded away if she thinks you’re getting weird on her.”
“You worry about me getting traded?” Jared asked, grinning up at Jensen.
Jensen kicked the bottom of Jared’s scuffed tennis shoe and rolled his eyes. “No, I worry about getting a roommate who’s suckier than you,” he said and held out his hand to help Jared up. “Seriously, dude, would it kill you pick up your wet towels?”
“It might,” Jared teased, yanking on Jensen’s arm and levering himself up. “It’s why I’d better not take the chance.”
The fall weather froze into winter, and the walk from the house to the garage wasn’t so nice anymore. Jensen layered his clothes underneath his coveralls and kept working, since there was still a lot to do. Jeff started alternating him into other places that needed an extra hand before the snows closed in. At night when the temperatures dipped, he was glad to share a bed with Jared the human space heater.
Sam started to call Jared into her bed regularly in the early evenings, but she didn’t like to actually sleep with anyone in her bed. Jensen was very grateful that she didn’t change her pattern now, but he worried about Jared.
“I can’t believe she hasn’t offered you your own room yet,” Jensen said one night when Jared was curled around him and breathing softly into the thin t-shirt he wore to bed. “She let me have this one after only a month, and you’ve been with her for six. I thought for sure I’d be out in the bunkhouse listening to Mike snore and Chad jack off by now.”
Jared sighed heavily and bent his knees behind Jensen’s caging him even tighter against Jared’s body. “Maybe she did,” he said sleepily, Sam had really worn him out over the whole afternoon spent together. He’d almost fallen asleep in his chili before Jensen caught him. “Maybe I told her that I liked having you here and asked if I could keep you.”
“Why would you do that?” Jensen asked, turning inside the bracket of Jared’s arms to put them nose to nose. No one had ever asked a woman anything for him, not even his father, let alone a guy he’d only known for a few short months.
“You’re kinda slow on the uptake aren’t you?” Jared asked, his mouth teasing into a smile the second before he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. His hand stroked down Jensen’s back and cupped over his hip, drawing their bodies into alignment so that they touched from mouth to thigh.
Jensen swallowed his gasp and clutched hard at Jared’s shoulders, holding him so that he couldn’t pull away when Jensen tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He’d missed physical affection, sure, but there was something between him and Jared that he had never found with Sam. They pulled away from each other and Jared blinked sleepily at him, his fingers rubbing calming circles into Jensen’s skin.
“I catch on eventually,” Jensen whispered as Jared relaxed into sleep. He tugged the blanket up to cover their shoulders and wrapped his arm across Jared’s back before he sighed and followed Jared into dreamland.
Author: Renae
chase_acowFandom-Pairing: SPN RPS - Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG
Word count: ~ 3,500
Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction about an alternate universe that sadly (or not) does not exist. Characters do not belong to me, do not reflect this reality, and no offense is meant.
Summary: Jensen is a bedmate turned mechanic asked to share his room with his replacement in Sam's bed. Jared's kinda shy, but he knows what he wants.
A/N: I know what you’re thinking. Harem fic with no sex? Just give me a chance, yeah?
Samantha Ferris liked her men young and muscled. Jensen had known that ever since she picked him up at the graduation market when he was eighteen. He knew it, but it didn’t stop him from being a little disappointed when his instructions for the day told him to head down to the garage to get his duty sheet until otherwise instructed. A little more notice would have been nice, maybe even something more personal than a note from the houseman tacked to his door. He’d been the oldest bedmate in her personal harem for several years, and he really should have seen it coming.
At least she’d kept her promise to find him a place on her estate rather than sending him out to the recycling market. It wasn’t unheard of, but men who ended up there seldom found a trade up from their previous circumstances. He knew for a fact that he wouldn’t have found anything better. Maybe a lady would want him as a teacher for a younger relative, but Jensen didn’t have much patience for teenagers. He wouldn’t last and then there’d be no choice for him after that but common labor.
He’d always been incredibly grateful that Sam liked being the only hen in a yard full of cock. Jensen only answered to Sam and his direct supervisors, not the strident demands of girls more likely to pinch than stroke or scratch than pet.
Every once in awhile Jensen liked it rough, but he never liked to bleed.
In the garage, the foreman Jeff Morgan sent him over to do some routine upkeep on the row of classic cars. Sam might like her men young, but she didn’t like to be driven in anything made after ‘75. She kept a couple of newer cars just in case she needed to make an impression, but the majority of the space was given over to Mustangs, GTOs, Camaros, and Firebirds. Jensen had learned everything he knew about cars from his dad, and when he hadn’t been busy up at the house, Jeff had shown him the ropes of Sam’s garage.
He lost himself in the repetitive motions of checking gauges and seals, topping off oil and windshield wiper fluid. He’d known that he’d have to find a niche for himself, and he was just glad that Sam didn’t like trading through to many men at a time. She could have found an already trained mechanic, but she was willing to wait and let him get the swing of it first. He was grateful, because at least the work was enjoyable. Lunch whizzed by, a picnic brought down from the kitchen, and before he knew it, it was time to go back up to the house and wash up for dinner.
Smears of grease managed to climb halfway up his forearms so he had to take extra care working his way through the house. It would be worth a beating from the houseman if he ruined the upholstery or paint job. Sam wasn’t as cruel as some of the other women he’d heard horror stories about, but she ruled her household with absolute authority. She did give some of the best rewards though, Jensen remembered, and a hot lick of desire curled down through his belly.
Jensen pushed open the door to his room with the cleanest part of the back of his hand and headed straight to the attached bathroom. He pulled his dirty shirt over his head and tossed it in the basket inside his closet, grimacing slightly over the sweat and grime that had built up. Actually, he was pretty satisfied with a full day of work.
“Um, hi.”
Jensen jerked to the side, and turned with his hands raised in automatic fists. There was always a certain amount of jockeying and infighting for position inside the male portion of the house, but as a favored bedmate, Jensen hadn’t really had to deal with any of that for years. It figured that his first day shunted to the work corps someone would already try to start something.
“Whoa, hey, I didn’t mean to startle you,” the other man held up his hands and took a step back. He was taller than Jensen and broader across the shoulders with heavily defined muscles. His hair was long and curled over his forehead and ears giving him a boyish look.
He was gorgeous. Jensen hated him immediately.
“What are you doing in here?” Jensen demanded, glaring around as he noticed another dresser had been added to the room, along with extra toiletries in the bathroom. His heart sank as he figured out what was going on before the other man even opened his mouth.
“I just got here this afternoon. The houseman showed me up,” he said, ducking his head and gesturing around the room. He looked uncomfortable, and Jensen had to wonder where he’d come from. He was too old for a graduation fair and Jensen couldn’t imagine why anyone would let him go to recycling. He hadn’t even known that Sam had been out shopping. “He said I’d share this room unless Ms. Ferris said otherwise.”
Jensen sighed, it had been nice having his own room; he was one of the only men to have that perk. He knew that a mechanic didn’t deserve the same rewards as a bedmate, but it would have been nice not to have to completely change his lifestyle all in one day. Again, it would have been nice to have some kind of warning.
“Whatever,” Jensen turned back to the bathroom and stripped out of his jeans. At least he wasn’t being kicked out yet, even if it was probably just a matter of time before he found himself living with the other working men over in the backhouse. There, they stacked as many as they could in bunks and shared dormitory style bathrooms. Privacy was at a minimum and he never had really been a people person. It wouldn’t be fun, but he knew it could be worse.
He finished his shower quickly, dinner was always promptly at six thirty, and he didn’t want to get stuck down at the end of the table next to Chad and Mike. Working down in the garage all day had given him an appetite that he hadn’t really managed when all he did was lounge around the house and work out at odd intervals. He pulled on a pair of his loose house pants and walked back out to his bedroom.
The other guy jumped up off the bed quickly and tried to smooth down his already smooth shirt. “I’m Jared,” he said, holding out his hand.
“Jensen,” he replied, but ignored Jared’s hand in favor of grabbing v-neck t-shirt to pull over his head. The last thing he wanted to do was get all buddy-buddy with his replacement in Sam’s bed. They might be stuck together, but he didn’t have to like it. “Come on.”
He led the way through the hallways, using the back stairs and avoiding places where the house servants would be working again after their earlier dinner. As a bedmate, Jared could take dinner whenever he wanted, but as a worker, Jensen could only get fed during this time slot. He was very aware of just how close Jared was shadowing him. It made him anxious, and he was grateful when they made it to the kitchen and dinning room.
There were two long tables, and he immediately went to the one closest to the big sliding glass doors and took his normal seat next to Jeff. He tried not to sigh when Jared slid into the chair next to him.
“So, you’re getting your hands dirty now, huh?”
“Shut your mouth, Mike, unless you’re done eating and then feel free to let the rest of us eat in peace. Everybody works for their keep around here, and don’t you forget it,” Jeff growled, rolling his eyes and passing the bread basket down to Jensen. He was in charge of work that went on outside the house, and just as fair but no-nonsense as Sam. “Jensen, I see you’ve made a new friend. Care to introduce us?”
Jensen paused in his task of filling up his plate and tried not to scowl. “This is Jared,” he said waving his hand over his shoulder back to where Jared was sitting also piling food from the table up on his plate. “Jared this is the groundsman Jeff, and everybody else.”
“Hi, how’s it going?” Jared said quietly, glancing around the table before he dropped his eyes back down to his own place.
Jeff and Jensen exchanged a glance, and Jensen shrugged, cutting his eyes toward Jared and raising his eyebrows trying to display that he didn’t really know if Jared was stuck up or just incredibly shy. He reached out to draw the bowl of chicken closer and tried not to drool over the smell. Jensen had been to enough entertainments handing on Sam’s arm to know that they had one of the best kitchen staff in the area.
“So where’d you come from, Jared?” Jeff asked through a mouthful of his own dinner. “Most of us work outside, so we don’t hear the gossip until dinner time.”
“Oh, ah, Alona sent me over as a gift, she didn’t really tell me much other than that I was Ms. Ferris’ type,” Jared answered, relaxing a little and letting his thighs fall open to brush against Jensen’s. “It seems like a nice place though, I think I’m very lucky.”
Down the table Mike and Chad put their heads together, talking quietly until Chad snorted loudly. “‘Gift’,” he said, smirking and gestured at Jared, “yeah right. She probably just couldn’t afford to feed your three stomachs!”
Jared froze in mid reach for the salad tongs and blushed furiously, dropping his hands in his lap.
“Just ignore them,” Jensen said softly, elbowing Jared in the ribs and startling the other man. He never could stand Chad or Mike, and he knew it was hard enough trying to fit into a new place without the resident jackasses trying to make things more difficult. “Sam never stints us. Eat as much as you want now, and if you want a snack later the cook will show you what’s yours to take.”
“Thanks,” Jared said startled, and still hesitant as he reached up to finger his silverware. He kept his head down, but dinner went smoothly after that as Jeff kept the conversation to mundane gossip.
That night, together under the covers, Jared tentatively touched Jensen’s shoulder and asked, “What’s Sam like?”
Jensen sighed and shoved his arm underneath his pillow and rolling his head so he could look out the small window. Clouds covered the moon, but enough light fell through the window to let him see Jared’s face when he turned back the other way. “First off, don’t call her Sam until she tells you to,” he said, and rolled his shoulder a little into Jared’s hand. “She likes flattery, but not the obvious kind. She doesn’t like pain; she won’t hurt you.”
“Good,” Jared relaxed further into the silk sheets and stretched. He yawned and turned away from Jensen so the bow of his back brushed from Jensen’s wrist to shoulder. He mumbled tiredly, “I was worried.”
So much for keeping his distance, Jensen thought as Jared’s cold feet made themselves at home alongside his calf. “You’ll be fine,” he said, words swallowed up by the night, and even he wasn’t sure if he was talking to Jared or himself.
“Hey, Jensen!”
Jensen jerked, and ended up banging his head up against the hood of the car he was working on. Pain spiked down and he reached up to rub the bump blossoming underneath his hair. “Goddamn it,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut and concentrating on breathing in and out.
“Oh, man, I’m sorry,” Jared said, getting closer and stroking his own hand up Jensen’s shoulder and squeezing. He was close enough that Jensen could smell the soft scent of mint on his breath. “Are you okay?”
Scowling, Jensen jerked away and reached for a rag to clean the grease off his hands. “What the hell are you doing down here?” he asked, blinking hard up at Jared. It had been three weeks since he’d gained his roommate, and the other man hadn’t been to the garage in all that time.
Jared withdrew into himself, hunching his shoulders and shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his oversized jeans. He dipped his head and his bangs fell over his eyes as he stepped away. “Am I not allowed down here?” he asked.
“You’re allowed wherever you want to go,” Jensen reminded him, trying not to be too annoyed. It had been nice being able to wander the grounds without a care in the world when he was in Jared’s place. It wasn’t like he never got a break now, but he still missed the freedom. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone down here today.”
“I could leave, if you’d rather be alone,” Jared offered, leaning slightly back the way he’d come from. He hesitated, and Jensen could tell he was dying for Jensen to tell him to stay, but that he was willing to go.
They’d come to a pretty easy truce, Jensen would have had to be as big an asshole as Chad or Mike to not get along with Jared. Actually, Jared went out of his way to be pleasant to both of those two bastards anyway. Jensen thought it was pretty abnormal, but Jared kept it up until Jensen had to concede that it wasn’t a front. The guy was just fucking nice, and quality that was sorely lacking from most bedmates.
Jensen squinted over at the clock on the wall and saw that it was close enough to quitting time for him to close up his corner of the shop. “Naw, it’s okay,” he said, and tried not to smile at the way Jared completely lit up at his words. “Help me clean this up, and we can go find someplace to be.”
The clean up went by quick with Jared helping him, and they slipped out of the garage before Jeff could offer to walk back up to the house with them. Jensen grabbed Jared’s wrist and pulled him behind the building, taking off on a path that meandered through a thick stand of trees. It had been his favorite place to go when he needed to get away from the press of bodies and the obnoxious twittering of the other bedmates. All they every talked about was the size of their dicks and how many times they could make Sam come in a night.
After a ten minute hike there was nothing to see or hear that would remind them of the life they left behind them. As far as they or anyone else knew, they were free to do or be whatever they wanted. Jensen watched as Jared looked around the small grotto with wide eyes. There was still some late blooming wild flowers poking through the long stemmed grass. Jensen walked to the middle and sank down to his knees, before he rolled over and laid down on his back so he could watch the clouds drift across the bright blue sky.
“This is awesome, Jen,” Jared said, and fell down beside him across the soft ground. He wiggled around until Jensen found himself with his head cushioned on Jared’s shoulder and noticed that their breathing had synchronized. “Thanks for bringing me out here. It was getting to be a bit much with nothing to do. With Alona, I at least had the dogs to spend time with.”
“Mention it to Sam next time you see her,” Jensen suggested, trying to ignore Jared’s musky scent. “Maybe she’ll get you a puppy or something. She likes doing those kind of small things if you make it worth her while.”
Jared shifted again, clearly working his way up to saying something. Jensen held his tongue and waited, knowing that if he rushed him, Jared would get embarrassed and stutter over his words. Underneath his cheek, Jared’s skin was warm; Jensen had to concentrate not to instinctively turn into Jared’s bulk. He had to watch himself closer than ever before, the game he’d played for over ten years suddenly had new rules.
“It’d be nice to have something to take care of again,” Jared said softly and squeezed his arm around Jensen’s shoulder. “You know, my dad told me that I’d get used to it eventually, but I don’t think I ever will.”
“Get used to what?” Jensen asked and decided to hell with it and turned to lay his hand on Jared’s ribcage. He could feel Jared breathing, the rise and fall of his solid chest
“Having sex without love,” Jared answered simply, his belly dipping under Jensen’s hand. “I mean, Sam’s really nice, and I think I make her happy while we’re in bed, but when she looks at me, I can tell that I’m nothing special.”
Jensen sucked in a breath at Jared’s admission. He’d known from when he was young and any woman who saw him paused to compliment his lips or eyelashes that he’d end up as someone’s bedmate. At the time he’d been glad, his older brother had gone straight to the labor market and he’d wanted no part of that backbreaking work. Sam was the only woman who had ever touched him, and he knew that there was affection between them, but he’d never hoped for love.
Love only happened in the movies, not in the real world and not for people like him and Jared.
“You’d better watch out Jared,” Jensen cautioned, reluctantly sliding away and pushing himself up to his feet. “Keep thinking like that and you’ll end up hurt, or worse, traded away if she thinks you’re getting weird on her.”
“You worry about me getting traded?” Jared asked, grinning up at Jensen.
Jensen kicked the bottom of Jared’s scuffed tennis shoe and rolled his eyes. “No, I worry about getting a roommate who’s suckier than you,” he said and held out his hand to help Jared up. “Seriously, dude, would it kill you pick up your wet towels?”
“It might,” Jared teased, yanking on Jensen’s arm and levering himself up. “It’s why I’d better not take the chance.”
The fall weather froze into winter, and the walk from the house to the garage wasn’t so nice anymore. Jensen layered his clothes underneath his coveralls and kept working, since there was still a lot to do. Jeff started alternating him into other places that needed an extra hand before the snows closed in. At night when the temperatures dipped, he was glad to share a bed with Jared the human space heater.
Sam started to call Jared into her bed regularly in the early evenings, but she didn’t like to actually sleep with anyone in her bed. Jensen was very grateful that she didn’t change her pattern now, but he worried about Jared.
“I can’t believe she hasn’t offered you your own room yet,” Jensen said one night when Jared was curled around him and breathing softly into the thin t-shirt he wore to bed. “She let me have this one after only a month, and you’ve been with her for six. I thought for sure I’d be out in the bunkhouse listening to Mike snore and Chad jack off by now.”
Jared sighed heavily and bent his knees behind Jensen’s caging him even tighter against Jared’s body. “Maybe she did,” he said sleepily, Sam had really worn him out over the whole afternoon spent together. He’d almost fallen asleep in his chili before Jensen caught him. “Maybe I told her that I liked having you here and asked if I could keep you.”
“Why would you do that?” Jensen asked, turning inside the bracket of Jared’s arms to put them nose to nose. No one had ever asked a woman anything for him, not even his father, let alone a guy he’d only known for a few short months.
“You’re kinda slow on the uptake aren’t you?” Jared asked, his mouth teasing into a smile the second before he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. His hand stroked down Jensen’s back and cupped over his hip, drawing their bodies into alignment so that they touched from mouth to thigh.
Jensen swallowed his gasp and clutched hard at Jared’s shoulders, holding him so that he couldn’t pull away when Jensen tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He’d missed physical affection, sure, but there was something between him and Jared that he had never found with Sam. They pulled away from each other and Jared blinked sleepily at him, his fingers rubbing calming circles into Jensen’s skin.
“I catch on eventually,” Jensen whispered as Jared relaxed into sleep. He tugged the blanket up to cover their shoulders and wrapped his arm across Jared’s back before he sighed and followed Jared into dreamland.
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Date: 2008-05-11 09:03 pm (UTC)Thanks so much!